OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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