My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
