So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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