Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
