I'm really into asian looking animals
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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