What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
