Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
