to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
