What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
