Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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