how can u be prego again
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Randomize
