It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
