You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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