I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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