Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
