none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
