dude i'm inner monologue high
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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