I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
