i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize