I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
