And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
