operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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