I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
