I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
