I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
