True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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