Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
