R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
