So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
