there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
