please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize