So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
