she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize