she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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