Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Houston, we have a squirter
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
