please come you make the beer taste better
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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