I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
