just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
