How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize