Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize