Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
