Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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