I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
