At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
