I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
