He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
