You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
