Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
