i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
