So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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