love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
