Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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