you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
