i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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