facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
