I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize