I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
