How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
