yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
