The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
