Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize