sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
